Spilled Milk - Part 1

My blog has moved to:

 http://sandrariordan.com/ 

Hope to see you there for more recent posts!

"God is in control of all things." I have said this to my kids.  Do they believe it?  I hope so, but by the way I have reacted to some of the unexpected and unwelcome happenstances of life, my guess is that they may struggle with believing it; I mean really believing it.

To really believe that God is in control of all things affects the way we react to everything from a death in the family to spilled milk. It is in those moments (or sometimes months depending on the severity of the crisis) when we are reacting that our kids are all ears and eyes soaking up our tone of voice, facial expression, and the words that recklessly spill out from our lips or not.  When we react, it is like picking up a megaphone and shouting to our kids, "Here's what I really believe about God. Watch!" (I am feeling the pain of my own words right now!)  We are communicating to them some very basic truths about God: Is God in control? Is God good? Does God love me? Does God care? Hopefully, we are all careful in moments like these, but let's be honest, we can all look back at times when we misbehaved in front of our kids.

IS God in control?  It is critical that we settle this question in our own hearts. A couple of silly questions might help us gain perspective on the stuff life dishes out and the way we handle it (the correlation does break down theologically but you get the idea.)

Mamas and Daddies, do you sit around deviously plotting a day full of tragedies, trials, and temptations for your child? You are probably offended at such a suggestion!  Of course you don't!!  Why not?  Do you establish natural consequences for the rebellion and disobedience of your children?  If you don't chaos ensues. When you do, your child learns to submit to your loving correction and harmony is restored. Every act of rebellion and it's consequences are the best teaching moments we have with our children to lovingly shape them into people of good character and maintain a loving relationship. God is in control of all things and He uses all of life to teach us and shape us into his image and express His love.

The entire human race is fallen and sinful.  The bad things that happen to us and the world around us are the natural consequences of the disobedience and rebellion of the world we live in. God is not up on His throne concocting a miserable day for you or anyone else, but He does allow natural consequences to come and it touches our lives sometimes close to home.  It is difficult for us, small as we are, to understand this big picture, but the context of it all is His great love and His great plan to spend eternity with us in heaven.  His love runs global circles around our love for our kids, yet what do we do when trials come? Just like defiant little children we cast an angry glare at Him and demand to know why.  "How could a loving God allow this to happen? ", we say.  We resist with all our might, assuming God must have taken a vacation, and we treat life like one big haphazard series of events, without purpose and "well, things just happen" and we all just keep getting bumped along the path of life, avoiding as much pain as possible, until one day it all ends and we go to our graves with a fat bank of tragedies, trials, and...spilled milk that God would have used to shape us into His image had we just been moldable ..............but we missed it. We were too busy kicking and screaming against the gentle pressures of the Potter's hand or just altogether ignoring them. And why do we react this way?  Because we have not settled the question, "IS God in control?".

The sun will rise again tomorrow, just like it did today. Maybe we should spend some time today considering how we will face it with a different perspective. A perspective that says "God, I know you are in control and I am willing and ready to receive whatever you choose to allow to touch my life tomorrow, however painful or frustrating it may be.  In all my busyness I will keep watching for You and choose to be teachable through it all."

Our kids are hungry for the truth to be lived out in front of them.  Let's keep that megaphone handy because when tomorrow's crisis comes, we will be shouting things like, "Yes! God is in control!", "Yes! God is good!", "Yes! God loves us!", and "Yes! God cares!".

Below are some verses you may use to meditate on today.  Blessings to you dear readers!

Romans 9:20-21 - Who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, "Why did you make me like this," will it? Or does not the potter have a right over the the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use? 

Isaiah 45:8&9 - "Drip down, O heavens, from above, and let the clouds pour down righteousness; Let the earth open up and salvation bear fruit, and righteousness spring up with it. I, the Lord, have created it. Woe to the one who quarrels with his Maker - an earthenware vessel among the vessels of earth! Will the clay say to the potter, 'What are you doing?' Or the thing you are making say, 'He has no hands'?"

Jeremiah 18

Proverbs 16:9 - The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. 

Job 12:10 - In His hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind. 

Psalm 22:28 - For kingship belongs to the Lord and He rules over the nations. 

Psalm 115:3 - Our God is in the heavens; He does all that He pleases.

Proverbs 3:5&6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Isaiah 41:10 - Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Romans 10:9 - "If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved."

Thank you for reading! And please share!

Training Johnny to Sit Still Part 3 - Mom, Johnny and Friends

My blog has moved to:

 http://sandrariordan.com/ 

Hope to see you there for more recent posts!

I just ushered my last of six homeschooled children out the door this morning, and off to public high school.  OK, I'm not gonna lie...I had myself a pity party. I am excited about this new chapter in my life but at the same time, I feel like a fish out of water, and I miss my kids! I know for sure that blogging will be a more consistent part of my life (Wow! It's been two years!).  Plus, I will have my grands a couple of days a week, and I bet they will be giving me plenty to write about!! =) So excited for the fun I will have with them this year!

This one is the last of three parts, but Johnny will continue to show up in my blogs since I am a prophet (HaHa) and I can tell you that, thanks to his wise mama and daddy, he grows up to be a jewel of a man that abundantly gives back to the world he was born into instead of taking from it! Which is, of course what we all aspire to as parents, right?

In my last blog, Mom and Johnny celebrate a huge victory when Johnny learns to sit still for five, ten, and even twenty minutes.  This is a goal that mom never dreamed would be possible, but with the wise advise of her grandmother, determination and consistency she soon realized the peace, love, and joy that blossomed in her home as this one success gave mom the encouragement she needed to continue training Johnny toward obedience.

Mom announces "Johnny, get your shoes on, we are going to the park!" Johnny doesn't hesitate. It had been a week since Mom's last gathering with her "a day at the park" friends and she was anxious to hear from them and had invited Grandma to come for extra support and encouragement.

After a picnic lunch Mom, Grandma and friends gather under the pavilion while the sitter watches the children on the playground.  Molly's mom pipes up and blurts out her frustrations with Molly's behavior from the previous week.  "I just don't understand it!  I popped Molly every time she did anything other than sit still during our practices!  She reacted as if we were playing a game and showed no signs of improvement for three days!"  Bobby's mom shared how every practice turned into an emotional frenzy for both she and Bobby.  They all collaborated back and forth for an hour asking Grandma lots of questions and her responding with her "two cents worth", as she called it, until they finally concluded with three common problems that many parents struggle with when faced with disciplining their children.

1) Molly's mom, with her sweet tender nature, admitted that her pops on Molly's leg were merely pats and Molly in turn was actually associating her bad behavior with something nice, a painless touch from Mama.  "It has to be just enough to sting, otherwise they will not associate their bad behavior with a negative response", said Grandma. " You are not really hurting her, just leaving enough sting to get her attention."

2)When Bobby's mom explained how she gave in to Bobby, allowing him to get away with being noisy and running around "just a couple of times" she added, the problem was clear!  Grandma explained how consistency is key.  "If you are consistent, the problem will be mastered in just a couple of days or less. Save yourself the frustration of dragging it out for weeks and just make up your mind that you are going to be consistent no matter what."  All of the moms agreed that consistency was something they all struggled with.

3) Molly's mom also admitted that her feelings about discipline got in the way. "It makes me feel so mean to spank my child." Molly's mom argued.  The other moms nodded in agreement. "Think about it like this...", Grandma encouraged. "...When you give in to your feelings instead of giving your child the discipline she needs, you are actually being selfish. You are elevating your feelings above Molly's need to be taught self discipline. You are not doing what is, in the long run, best for Molly!" After a long pause Molly's mom said, "I've never thought of it like that before!"

Bobby's and Molly's moms were encouraged to hear of Johnny's mom's successes that week! Realizing their tendencies towards these three common issues they promised to keep a tally for every time they gave in to any of them. They all agreed to continue to meet and be a support for each other in this incredible journey we call parenting.

Thanks for reading!!  Please feel free to leave comments or questions or prayer requests!  And blessings to all of you who are doing your best!  It is not easy!  You're awesome!  Don't ever stop aspiring to being the best parent you can be!  =)