Mean Mama

If there is one area of parenting where I would fall into the "Mean Mama" category, teaching my kids to be healthy eaters would be it. Although I never actually put it into words, I guess my moto was "My kids' health is more important to me than my comfort and convenience." Because, trust me, it was not just uncomfortable or inconvenient; at times it was downright painful, because it hurt me to not let them eat when I knew they were hungry. Over and over again  I had to put my feelings aside and remind myself "It's not about you, Sandra!".   It's a decision that was worth the trouble and I have never regretted it.

Here's what I know; a very hungry child will eat anything! And now... you are really starting to wonder about this blogger! =)   No, I never starved my children, but they knew if they didn't eat what was put in front of them (and there was only one menu option) they would not eat until the next meal with no snacks in between. If they refused to eat, their plate would inevitably be covered with plastic and put in the refrigerator just in case they came to their senses and decided that stubborn pride was not going to fill their tummies and that starvation was worse than eating their veggies! Yes they got hungry, but if you will look them up on facebook you will see that it did not hurt them in the least and are, in fact, very happy and healthy individuals.  All six of them, almost all grown now,  love eating healthy foods and have thanked me numerous times for making them eat right when they were little, painful as it was for me and them. 

"I have made up my mind about this issue.  It is not worth the battle!", you may say. If we will take the time to consider the profound repercussions of such a decision we may change our minds.  This is a decision about your child's quality of life. From the very first mouthful of solid food our children begin developing eating habits that will stay with them for the rest of their lives and will define their health, good or bad, now and in the future. Every bite they take is a habit being formed. Obesity, cardiovascular disease, cancer, bone and dental diseases.  These, many times fatal, diseases are all directly related to poor eating habits and are only a few of many other health problems associated with the foods we eat.

If obedience training has not been a regular practice in your home, your child's eating habits are probably not the best place to start.  You can train a child to pick up his toys, but making him chew and swallow will only come in the context of a relationship where obedience to a command is normal or at least semi-normal =).

This is just "food for thought" today, more on this subject later.  Thanks for reading!

My blog has moved to http://sandrariordan.com/
Hope to see you there for the most recent posts!

Law and Love Part 2 - The Reign of Love

Love. Just the sound of the word itself evokes in me both benevolence and desire. The giving and receiving of Love is the most basic human emotional need.  Is it any wonder?  We were created in the image of God (Gen. 1:27). God displayed the ultimate expression of love in sending His only Son to pay the penalty for our sin on a cruel cross  to make it possible for us to have a relationship with Him and spend eternity with Him in heaven (John 3:16).  It is impossible for us to love the way God loves, for His love is perfect. But it is in this relationship that the life of Jesus Christ becomes our life and the purest form of human love is expressed. If you do not know Him personally, I encourage you to consider His invitation to give your life to Him; it is in this relationship that you will be able to love others most freely.

Love is as basic a need to the home as water is to the earth.  God sends the needed rain; the earth receives it and produces in abundance; the water evaporates and it rains again. The rain is constantly being poured out and received, giving life and giving back. God's love is never ending and unconditional. We, the recipients of this perfect and extravagant love,  always have a fresh supply to give, setting in motion the "Love Cycle" in our homes and making home a living, growing and thriving place to be. Is the Love cycle not quite what it used to be at your house?  As parents, the first place we need to look is within ourselves.  Love must first reign in our own hearts before it can reign in our homes.

When love is truly reigning in our hearts it cannot be contained.  The very essence and nature of love forces self to have a seat while love takes action showing itself in compassion, acts of service, kindness, gentleness, generosity, forgiveness, and long-suffering (and the list goes on). Consider the story of the Good Samaritan found in Luke 10:26-37. Is this kind of love being reciprocated in your home?

In response to the lawyers question, "What shall I do to inherit eternal life?"  Jesus instructed him to do two things:  Love God and Love your neighbor.  Jesus explained  that our neighbor is anyone we cross paths with and with the use of a story, He illustrates how love reigned in the heart of a Samaritan man.

The Samaritan  was busy.  He was on a mission, when suddenly he was stopped dead in his tracks by love, the love that reigned in his heart.  Verse 33 says, "When he saw him , he felt compassion."  Jesus then explains how the love in the Samaritan's heart took action, showing itself in three acts of service for a beaten, left for dead Jew.

Love stops and takes time out of a busy schedule.  The Samaritan was on a journey.  The destination, we don't know, but you can be sure it was important. People in those days didn't travel, crude as it was, with the potential of being robbed or attacked by a wild animal unless they had a very important reason to do so. Chances are, there were loved ones or a business transaction awaiting him at the end of his journey and there was no way to communicate with them to let them know he would be running late.  Out of his heart of love, the Samaritan noticed a need, laid aside important things, and took time to put the wounded mans needs at the top of his list of priorities.

Love is tender, nurturing and caring.  The love reigning in the Samaritan's heart offered his comfort, his convenience and his feelings to have a seat and love got busy.  The known hatred and rejection of Jews for Samaritans and the memories of them taunting and cursing his family did not cause the Samaritan's love to think twice. He immediately dug into the saddle bags on his donkey and retrieved his own supplies, bandaged the Jew's wounds, heaved him onto his own donkey and carried him to an inn.

Love goes the second mile. The Samaritan could have easily felt satisfied with all that he had done to care for the man. The Love reigning in his heart, however, said, "It's not enough. Go the second mile." So he cared for the man through the night and paid for the mans stay and extra for his care. He went on his way, and returning on his way back home,  paid the innkeeper more for his care and any additional expenses.

If this is the kind of Love we should have for someone who hates us, how much more for our spouse and children? This, my friends, is extravagant, emptied of self, "lay my life down" kind of love.  Get the "Love Cycle" going in your home; let it reign in your heart today; your children need to know.

My blog has moved to:

 http://sandrariordan.com/ 

Hope to see you there for the most recent posts!

1 Corinthians 13:1-8
If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
1 John 3:16
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
1 John 4:19
We love because he first loved us.
Luke 6:27-28
Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
Luke 6:35
Love you enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.
Romans 5:5
And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Law and Love Part 1 - The Rule of Law

My blog has moved to:

 http://sandrariordan.com/ 

Hope to see you there for more recent posts!

 

Where there is order there is government, instruction, or rule that finds its origin in God. Where there is disorder, these God ordained authorities are no longer functioning the way they were designed. 

The rule of law does not exist by some random chance. It was God's idea. We see the rule of law in everything God created.  DNA instructs the development of the body; gravity governs the solar system, the boundaries of the oceans and the couch I am sitting on; a day is governed by the rising and setting of the sun;  Kings and authorities are put in place to rule over nations; principals give instruction and leadership to schools.  On and on I could go listing everything that exists and the authorities that govern them.   There is not a single thing on this planet that does not have something bigger than itself ruling over it.  It is the natural order of life on earth and in the universe and a testimony to the existence of a higher being.

What about the home? It is the smallest and oldest God ordained institution divinely designed to be a testimony to the world of Christ and the Church.   Is it any surprise that, just like the rest of the orderly world we live in, God put in place a governing authority to rule over the home? 

Because of this natural order of the rule of law, when the God ordained authority is dysfunctional, absent or inactive the lesser subject will appear to rule itself when, in actuality, it is being ruled by natural consequences.  You have probably seen this exemplified in some families you know.  The parents coerce, beg, give in, negotiate, end every command with "OK?" and don't enforce it, and the children don't seem to have any sense of right and wrong, constantly getting into trouble, begging and whining to get their way and succeeding, mayhem abounds everywhere they go and "Good grief!" no one wants to be around this family!! In this example, the God ordained authority, the parents, is inactive or, at best, dysfunctional.  It appears that the children are ruling over themselves but are actually being ruled by the natural consequences of their bad behavior.

Children are like water.  They will freely go where there is no resistance.  Take, for example, a glass of water.  Except for evaporation, the boundaries for the water are very well defined. There is no confusion on the part of the water (if it could think) as to where it can and cannot go or what it can and cannot do. The glass is the authority and does not give in to the water. The structure of the glass defines it and the strength of the glass enforces it. Parents, we are the structure and strength of our homes.  Children will submissively remain within the boundaries given if those boundaries are very well defined and enforced.  Without boundaries they will ultimately become destructive or at least very unhappy, unproductive adults.  Remove the boundary of the water in the glass and you have a mess, or when the boundaries of the water in a damn are removed the destruction is massive. The longer a child grows up without boundaries the more destructive they will be to self or the world around them.  This is not to say that the rule of law is all there is to parenting. Not at all. But it is a large part of the balance that will ultimately produce balanced adults out of our kids.

I understand how overwhelming and confusing being a parent can be sometimes!  We get advice and opinions about it coming at us from all directions especially on the subject of discipline.  Consider again, the truths in the opening of this blog. Doesn't it make sense that YOU, the parent, are empowered by God Himself to rule and govern your home?   If you have bought into the idea that we are equal subjects with our kids, or even less than that, please allow me the privilege of offering back to you what has always been rightfully yours: your kingship over your home.

So put down the white flag of surrender and pick up your crown.  I am cheering you on! =)

Some of my other blogs I have written, and will be writing in the future, will help you know what to do to reclaim authority in your home. The link below is also an excellent resource.

https://www.amazon.com/Train-Child-Child-Training-21st-Century/dp/1616440724/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1475695977&sr=8-1&keywords=to+train+up+a+child