You are My Sunshine

  

I don't know about anyone else, but to me, one of the greatest blessings in life is laughter!  I mean, it would be like clipping the wings of my spirit if I could not laugh!  When I have a good side splitting laugh, I feel like a soothing ointment has just spilled all over and saturated my entire being.  Laughter connects and bonds us with people we love and those we barely know.  On a personal level, laughter counters stress; on a social level, laughter counters hostility.  It is a powerful physiological, social and emotional force that we should be stimulating in our homes on a daily basis.

My blog has moved to:

 http://sandrariordan.com/ 

                                                 Hope to see you there for more recent posts!

God was so creative when He decided to make us to laugh! He even gave us a few unmentionables to make sure it happens almost daily! =) (and yes it does happen at the Riordan's! HaHa ) Come to think of it, God must have a great sense of humor! He gifted people with the ability to carry an atmosphere of mirth and cheer everywhere they go; they have the talent to ignite laughter in the most dismal circumstances. Our son-in-law, Joe, has this most hysterical fake laugh that he will sometimes spontaneously break into at our family gatherings; it always gets all of us really laughing until we are red in the face!

Since God thought of laughter and provided the ability and the means to do it, obviously there must be a need for it.  What better place to experience it than in the home?  When our kids are grown, will they look back and remember home as a place of joy and laughter?  Laughter brings to a home what sunshine brings to a day!  So what's the "weather" been like in your home lately?

When we think of the atmosphere of our home, what words come to mind? Are they words like, lighthearted, joy, cheer, smiles, mirth?  Or would words like strife, moodiness, frowns or hatefulness better describe it. Maybe our home is somewhere in the middle described by words like gloom, discontent or silent. Evaluating the way things are at home may reveal the need for a more lighthearted atmosphere.  Parents, the atmosphere of our home greatly depends on us.  If we wake up with a thankful, joyful heart our kids will follow our lead and instead of raining on our day they will be our sunshine! With a little effort to stimulate laughter in our home we can turn dismal into delight. Whatever the "weather" condition of our home, it is worth considering and making a few adjustments, if needed, to ensure a sunnier day tomorrow because we could all benefit from a little more laughter!

So get everyone's jolly bellies jiggling with laughter =) ! There is plenty of help online but here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Break into a spontaneous tickling session on the floor with your kids.
- Use a prompt to start a tall tale chain story at the dinner table with each member of the family adding their own crazy twist to the story.
- Have a family night when everyone comes prepared to tell their best jokes.
- My family and I have had a barrel full of laughs around the dinner table just telling funny stories from the past.
- We have had loads of fun watching ridiculous youtube videos or searched "funny"on pinterest.
- Have a Karaoke night with fun songs. YouTube offers Karaoke playlists.
- Learn a new dance together.
- Look at random photos of people in public places and make up silly scenarios of what might be taking place.
- Games are great for triggering laughter
- Give everyone a tiny gift bag.  Award them with a Jolly Rancher every time they really laugh.  Encourage them to collect enough Jolly Ranchers to fill the bag and give to a friend. This will encourage laughter and the joy of giving.
- Keep your camera handy and capture photos of family members laughing.  Frame and place them all over the house.

Have gray skies been hanging around your home for a while? Here are some ideas to get everyone thinking, and create an awareness of the need to be more lighthearted.
- Have a family meeting and let your kids express how they feel about home.  Is it fun?  Do we laugh? Do we bicker a lot? Do we complain?  Are we thankful?  Encourage them to make a list of words that would describe the ideal atmosphere at home. Use the list to evaluate each day for a period of time.
- Set aside a week to focus on laughing more! Provide a calendar and some sun, cloud, and rain stickers.   At the end of each day talk about the day with your kids.  Was it a Sunny day, a cloudy day or a rainy day? Let them apply the stickers accordingly.  At the end of the week, celebrate having more sunny days of laughter with a smiley face lunch (be creative!)
- Laughter comes from a thankful heart. Get everyone involved in making a list of blessings and write thank you notes to God, friends or relatives illustrated with their own artwork.  Hang them around the house or send them in the mail.
- Your kids may not even know that the Bible talks about laughter.  Have family devotions tonight using these verses: Psalm 126:2, Job 8:21, Ecc. 3:2-8; Prov. 15:13, Prov. 15:15; Prov. 17:22.

I am sure you have plenty of ideas to get everybody laughing!  Be creative and have fun! Thanks for reading!

 

 "I'm thankful for laughter,

except when milk comes out of my nose."

- Woody Allen

My blog has moved to:

 http://sandrariordan.com/ 

Hope to see you there for more recent posts!

Spilled Milk Part 2 - Lessons in Crisis 101

My blog has moved to:

 http://sandrariordan.com/ 

Hope to see you there for more recent posts!

 

Have you spent much time in the ER lately?  Unless you are a medical professional in that field, probably not, but if we took the time to hang out there and observe what goes on we would gain a broad perspective of the many different ways that people handle crises.  No need to go to the ER to find it though,  you have probably experienced a real crisis yourself or at least been closely associated with someone who has, not to mention the nightly news drama.

One of two lightbulbs flicks on in our heads in a moment of crisis: SURVIVAL or OPPORTUNITY.  "Survival" is always focused on the protection and comfort of self and "opportunity" is always focused on the welfare of everyone involved and the outcome.  In other words, our reaction to crisis depends on our mindset. For the Christian it is a mindset plus the faith that God is in control of all things, and because we have the life of Christ in us we have an ever flowing supply of His power that gives us the strength to keep in mind that every crisis is an opportunity.

Other than our relationship with God, and whether we are a Christian or not there are some practical things we can all do to help maintain an "opportunity" mindset.  If it is at all possible to prepare the mind for the unexpected, from a practical standpoint,  it would be summed up in this word: Practice. 

Think about the number of minor crises we have each day.  If we ever hope to have an "opportunity" mindset when a real crisis comes, guess what! We are given plenty of practice time on a daily basis.  So when we're wondering why we can't seem to get through a single day without our child having a meltdown, the dog chewing up our favorite leather shoe, or Johnny's spilled milk on our newest "Rooms to Go" purchase, our lessons in Crisis 101 abound.  Are we reacting with the most natural animal instinct "survival" mindset or are we seeing it as an "opportunity" for ourselves and everyone around us to grow and learn. You may be thinking, "OK, this is completely unrealistic.  I am done with this blog".  It may seem unrealistic, but remember your only other mindset option is "Survival", and that's how animals think.  I am certain that we can muster up the fortitude to do better than that!

So a typical crisis in the life of Mom and Johnny might look something like this:
(If you haven't read my Mom and Johnny stories you should! They're good! =)  )

Mom goes into the quiet of her bedroom to nurse Johnny's baby sister, Jody.  Johnny and his younger sister Julie,  are busy making mom happy by finishing their list of chores.  Maybe mom was a little too confident in her child's abilities when she added "Clean the fish tank" to the list of chores, but of course, Johnny and Julie are more than confident and decide to take this one on while mom is not around to help.  Johnny and Julie together lift the ten gallon tank off the stand and slowly inch their way to the kitchen, water sloshing, fish confused.  Under the weight of the tank Johnny and Julie decide to rest the glass bottom tank on an open cabinet door.  Glass breaks, ten gallons of water flood the kitchen floor and five fish are desperately trying to swim in it!  Mom rushes to the scene.  In stunned silence and shock riveting her body she stands there speechless for at least 5 seconds unable to move. (I can't help but laugh when I get to this part of the story.  This really did happen at the Riordans!  But I can assure you I was not laughing in the moment!)

PAUSE

This is a critical moment of choice for mom. If she lives in "survival" mode her reaction may sound something like this:

Oh my goooooooooooooshsh!!!!! What in the world are you thinking!!! You stupid, careless, clumsy little brats!!!!! Johnny and Julie, horrified and hurt by moms words are thinking "But we were just trying to make you happy by doing our chores, and thought you would be so proud that we did the hardest one all by ourselves."   Mom, for the duration of cleaning up the mess, continues to rant  and finally sends the kids outside to "get out of my hair so I can have some piece and quiet!".  Not only did mom miss an opportunity for herself and her kids to grow and learn but she also hurled a crushing blow to the spirits and self worth of her children.

If Mom lives in "opportunity" mode her reaction may look something like this:

In those few seconds of stunned silence and shock mom is putting aside how she feels about what has just happened and wisely decides to put off asking "What happened?" for later. She quickly analyzes the situation and collects a few thoughts about what is truth.  "Yes, this is a mess, but not irreparable; I did put "clean the fish tank" on the list and that was a mistake; Johnny and Julie were being obedient; and there is something here for all of us to learn."  Because mom is in the habit of this kind of thinking these thoughts come easily. Mom promptly instructs the kids giving them specific jobs to do to help with cleaning up the mess. All done!  Everyone involved is better than they were before the crisis.  Johnny and Julie have grown in their respect for Mom; Mom learns to be specific about chores; they all learn that cleaning up a big mess is a cinch with everyone working together; they all got some crisis practice, and the icing on the cake, the floor is cleaner! Fifteen minutes after the accident the kids have a memory to hold on to for the rest of their lives.  Mom held it together in a moment of crisis.

You may be wondering, "Sandra, have you always held it together like that?". My answer: definitely not.  I wish I could say that I have.  I also wish that I would have had someone helping me think through issues like the ones I write about in my blogs. I have learned so much over the years and it brings me a great deal of joy to share it with you!  Thank you for reading!

Here's a simple suggestion: With a marker and construction paper hang the word "Opportunity" all over your house.  Take the time to talk with your kids about seeing every crisis as an opportunity.

Legacy

My blog has moved to:

 http://sandrariordan.com/ 

Hope to see you there for more recent posts!

 

In loving memory of my Mother-in-Law 
Betty Riordan
 

 

Legacy.  This word has come to my mind several times in the past seven days as I have reflected on the life well lived through my mother-in-law Betty Riordan. She is with Jesus now, but the life she lived will forever inspire us and remain a constant glow in our hearts and minds.

A legacy is an exemplary life of solid values, sound choices, and honorable character all wrapped up and embodied in a person who took the time to leave a piece of themselves in the hearts of those whose lives they touched. What is said of a person who leaves a legacy? It is very difficult to realize or measure the impact of a life well lived, but certainly the testimonies of the ones whose lives were touched by it is worth noting.  Many remarks were made of Mrs. Riordan that continually wove themselves in and out of conversations throughout the events of the week:

"She loved teaching the Bible to children; she loved singing songs with them. She never let an opportunity pass to share her love of Jesus with the children."
"Thank you, Grandma,  for helping to mold me into the person I am today."
"We will never know this side of Heaven how many people Betty influenced by her many ways of service."
"Perpetually happy and a constant reminder of what a godly woman was like. "
"She had a wonderful ability to make anyone and everyone feel important. Her love for all those she came into contact with transcended language barriers, social status, and past mistakes. She was quite simply, one of the most likable people anyone could have the pleasure of meeting."
"I do know her impact on me is quantifiable. She changed who I am as a man. Her memory is still changing me."
"It is because of Mrs. Betty that I am in the ministry today."
"I was always inspired by her goal of taking the gospel to every continent."
"I'm so thankful I had the opportunity to know such a precious lady and my life is better because of her!"
"When I think of remarkable women like Lottie Moon or Mother Theresa, Betty is right there on the list."
"Her legacy will live on in ways we don't even know yet."
"Dad and I sat thinking of just the people now in full time ministry who were under her leadership at camp...it's a staggering list.."
"Ms. Betty was the most mission minded saint I have ever seen."
"I hope I can become half the person that she was for us."
"Her legacy will live on through her children and grandchildren and through all the many other lives she has touched."
"She taught me to love God and that everything was in his hands even in my toughest times."
"She never once complained."
"I give her a lot of the credit for my career choice, my move to WA state and my desire to work with people."
"She loved the word of God."
"Betty was on fire for Jesus."

So, this is how Mrs. Riordan is remembered. In a nutshell, Betty Riordan impacted her world. She left a legacy.

It is so important for us to put the brakes on our busy life at times like these and ponder.  Do I want to leave a legacy?  I don't know of anyone who would answer that question with a heartfelt "No".  Why would any of us want to be born into this world and not leave it having made it better than it was before we came?   But here's the clincher: What are we doing about it?  This question is answered in the moment by moment, day to day choices of life.  If we will one day leave a legacy it will be done in the context of a constant awareness that every choice we make moves us toward or away from that goal.  Mrs. Riordan once said, "If I died today, I know I would be with Jesus and I have done everything in the world that I thought I would ever do."

Let's never forget Mrs. Riordan and others like her who have gone on before us and made choices that left, for the rest of us, a beautiful legacy. We avoid talking about death.  We avoid thinking about death, therefore we live as if it will never happen and our daily choices are affected by it.  Death is as naturally a part of life as birth and the dash between the two is all we have.  Let's make it count; our kids and the generations that follow are depending on us!

We should take the time to occasionally talk about death with our children. An activity you could consider doing with them would be to go to a cemetery and read the headstones comparing the differences in what is said of each person.  Talk about the dash in between the two years and what it represents.  Tell them stories about people from your past who left a legacy.

Hmmm.....so how would I hope for my headstone to read?  I'm going to close this blog now and write my epitaph.